Sex, Sexuality, Fertility concerns

Concerns forming sexual relationships

Cancer and cancer treatment can affect many areas of sexual well-being. They may cause changes that are:

  • physical – you may have side effects or symptoms that change how your body works or looks
  • emotional – you may be dealing with stress, worry or other difficult feelings
  • practical – your usual routines or roles may change.

These areas are often linked. If there is a change in one area, it may affect another. These changes may affect how you feel about your body. Or they may lower your sex drive (libido) or make you less interested in sex. They can affect your relationships or how you feel about being intimate with another person. You may worry these changes will affect how attractive you are to other people

Many changes caused by cancer treatment are temporary and usually get better after treatment ends. As you recover, you may find your sex life goes back to the way it was. But some changes may last longer or be permanent. Sex involves different things for different people.

If you do not feel like doing what you normally do with someone, there are other ways to be intimate.

This could include:

  • kissing
  • cuddling
  • touching
  • holding hands
  • a gentle hand, foot or shoulder massage.

Sharing your feelings and spending quality time together can help your emotional connection. There are so many things to cope with when you have cancer. This may mean your sexual well-being could be forgotten. You may avoid the conversation because you feel embarrassed talking about sex or you may be worried your GP might be. But you can talk to them about anything. There are many ways to improve your sexual well-being and manage any problems. So it is important to talk about it and get the right help

If your concerns around forming sexual relationships are affecting your mental health, you may want to explore having counselling, you could access counselling by visiting your GP or following the below link to find your local NHS talking therapy service and self refer:

Or if you prefer, you could opt for a text based service, such as:

Young Minds textline 

Provides free, 24/7 text support for young people across the UK experiencing a mental health crisis. Text YM to 85258. More information: 

The Mix – crisis messenger 

The Mix’s crisis messenger text service provides free 24/7 crisis support across the UK to those 25 and under. Text THEMIX to 85258.

Sometimes cancer can lead to a more isolated lifestyle, for a number of reasons, this may be affecting how easy it is for you to meet others.

For help with this, please follow the links below: